Mario Vs Mello
by Regal Panther
Summary: Catharine, AKA Kitty, loves video games and chocolate. At her friend Matt's house, Mello calls, looking for Matt. Instead, he finds out Kitty made chocolate pie. A broken leg is nothing compared to being ignored by your favorite treat.


Second in line for the uploads of 2010 is none other than Mello. Again, I borrowed this one-shot from MY OWN account.

All rights of Death Note characters go to... the mangaka who made all these crazy people: Tsugumi Ohba.

Duh.

* * *

Me and Matt, the best gaming buddy ever, were currently… watching TV. We would be playing video games of some sort, since (God knows) he has about a million of them stocked up at his place, but our thumbs got too sore to continue, so we were letting them rest.

Coincidentally, it was a show about upcoming video games.

* * *

"Oi, oi! Matt! The hell was that for? We're on the same team ya know!"

"Woops, sorry! Friendly fire!"

"Yeah, friendly fire my ass! Oh! Head shot!"

"Nice kill!"

We eventually got tired of boring, non-interactive TV, so I popped in Halo and we began a match on Xbox Live. Our team, which was Matt and I, were winning against the other team, which had seven players. The score was 57-4, out of 100 kills. We started the match about five minutes ago, and were in the process of owning the other team completely. To keep with the meme, we were blue vs. red. Me and Matt were red.

After playing some more video games with my sniping partner, the phone rang just as I was putting the finishing touches on the nachos.

"H'lo?"

"Matt?"

Mello sounded seriously confused, so I elaborated.

"No, ish Kitty. Nashos in mouf."

"Nashos… you're eating nachos?"

"Yesh. Then shoco pie."

"Shoco?"

I chewed for a moment, then swallowed. "Chocolate pie."

"Can I come over?" he asked immediately, probably because of the magic word: chocolate.

"Sure, but you're not getting any! It's MINE!"

The phone's connection cut, signaling he hung up.

"Oh shit! My pie is in danger! NO!"

When I returned to the den holding a dish of nachos and my pie with a fork, Matt raised his eyebrows, surprise etched on his face.

"I thought you were gonna wait to eat the pie?"

"I can't! Mello is coming over here to ninja it!"

He chuckled, grabbing the Kitty-style nachos. Then, the phone ran again. I snatched it, expecting Mello.

Instead, it turned out to be Near.

"H'lo?"

"Hello, Catharine."

I ground my teeth at his annoyingly confident tone.

"Yes, Near?"

I forced myself to be civil, though my voice cracked a bit at the end.

"I was wondering if you knew why Mello is in such a frantic rush to get to Matt's house."

"HE WANTS MY PIE!"

I think Near took that the wrong way.

"… What?" he deadpanned.

"I made choco pie! He wants it! DEAL WITH IT, OLD MAN WHITEY!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

I slammed the phone down, hanging up. Matt had wide eyes, and his mouth was gaping, nachos falling out.

"You scare me sometimes…" he shuddered. I giggled, grabbed my pie, and was about to dig in when a crash was heard from upwards, along with a muffled scream.

I face-palmed, then quickly grabbed a huge chunk of pie and stuffed it in my mouth, chewing the delicious treat with bulging cheeks and a smile.

"I'll go distract him." Matt sighed, used to our antics when it came to chocolate.

"Mmpf!" I answered, nodding.

"Where's the pie?!"

"What pie?"

I could hear Matt faking ignorance.

"The CHOCOLATE pie!"

A hint of insanity entered Mello's voice at the second word, making me giggle.

"I heard her giggle! She must have the pie!"

"Wait! No, Mello! Don't-"

Mello probably just tripped over the huge, somehow invisible-to-all-but-Matt-and-myself pile of new video games. I swear, it's plotting to conquer the world.

We ended up bringing him to the hospital because, somehow, he managed to break his leg tripping over a pile of very light and bendable plastic.

"Oi! Matt! Can't this thing go any faster?"

"Nay, sir."

I laughed at Matt's mocking English accent, making Mello even more annoyed. He was already pretty irate because of the fact that he hadn't gotten any of my first-class chocolate pie.

"We'll get there when we get there, Mello. Until then, try not to make us run someone over, or crash into another car and break _our_ legs."

I pinched his cheek, which made him even _more_ irritated, and eventually we got into a poking contest. Somehow.

* * *

I had made some double-chocolate cookies to help Mello feel better, and was currently playing some Mario Kart.

Though, apparently I didn't make enough, because he soon started to complain again. So, being the total idiot I am sometimes, I ignored him.

"Hey, Kitty."

"Hm."

"Why is your hair purple?"

"Cause purple is a cool color, and I dyed it."

We were silent for the time being. Matt went upstairs to smoke.

"Why do you have a lip ring?"

"Cause lip rings are cool, and I wanted one."

"Why do you have green eyes?"

"Genetics. What kind of retarded-ass question is that?"

"Why do you have a ferret?"

"Because Slinky is a cool ferret."

"Why do you like rock?"

"Because rock is cool."

"Why are you playing Mario Kart?"

"Because Mario is cool."

"Why is everything cool?"

"Not everything is cool For example: Near."

He chuckled. "Why do you like chocolate?"

"CAUSE CHOCOLATE IS EFFING EPIC!!!"

I heard a crash from the front, most likely Matt falling off a chair or something. Suddenly, he burst onto the scene, happy as all hell.

"SALE! AT FUTURE SHOP! I'M GOING! LATER!"

I waved absentmindedly, and he took that as permission to leave us in his apartment while he went to get more electronics.

"Why is he so hyper?"

"Cause he's cool like that."

"Why does he love video games so much?"

"Cause video games are cool."

This scene continued for a little while, until I got too irritated and snapped.

"Shut up! I'm trying to play Super Smash Bros here!"

"Can I play?"

"NO!"

He pouted immaturely, his plate of cookies long since empty.

"Why?" he demanded a little while later.

"Why what?" I asked, the previous "conversation" completely forgotten.

"Why can't I play?"

"Cause it's single-player story-mode."

"So?"

"So, Mario is cooler than you will ever be. Therefore, you are not allowed to play because that would mean that you are almost as cool as Mario."

I got up and switched games to Paper Mario. Mello sighed impatiently, shifting in his seat so he was more comfortable with his cast. I stared at it, waking up from my video-game-coma.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"I forgot to sign it. Hold on."

"Eh?!"

I ran to grab a purple marker, ran back, evaded the stack of games Mello had tripped over the previous day, and bounced back into the room, flopping down to sit cross-legged in front of the blond-haired chocolate lover.

"What are you gonna write?" he asked suspiciously.

"Dunno yet."

And that's when inspiration struck. I paused the Mario game, and began writing.

"_Sorry, Mello! You will never be as cool as Mario, so stop trying! And stop asking why questions before I whack you over the head with a stop sign! (That hurts, btw). And, and, and! I love chocolate more than you do! YES! I DO!! YOU KNOW WHY?! CAUSE I MAKE CHOCO PIE! AND COOKIES! AND YOU DON'T! BURN!!"_

I threw the capped marker across the room as Mello choked on his soda while reading the text.

"What the… hell?"

"Lol." I quoted my MSN chats.

When Matt finally returned, Mello begged him to bring him back to Whammy's house, and let me stay here for one more night.

"Sorry, buddy. Kitty lives at the Whammy house too."

"No! You have betrayed me!"

"Cookie?"

I proffered a chocolate-chip cookie.

"Sure." Mello took it and started munching. "Seriously, though! She's gonna be the death of me!"

"Yeah. Especially since she's always making chocolaty treats, and shares them with you almost all the time. Right. Okay. You keep thinking that, dude."

"You're on her side now?"

"No. I'm Switzerland*. Now come on, let's get you in the car."

Matt picked him up bodily, to his complaints and my laughter, and pretty much threw him in the car. I joined him in the back seat with a container full of freshly baked goods, and restarted the poking war.

When we got back to the orphanage for so-called geniuses, Near was waiting, along with Roger.

"What were you two up to?" the older man questioned.

"Well, me and Matt played video games and he ate nachos and I ate some chocolate pie, then he came over and wanted my pie so I said no, and then he tripped over a stack of video games and we went to the hospital, and then we got back to Matt's apartment then he went to a sale at future shop and I signed his cast and played Mario games until Matt said we had to come back and-"

"Kitty! Breath!"

Matt grabbed my shoulders and shook me, just as I was about to pass out from lack of air. I soon recovered, continuing. "-and we got into a poking war on the way here, and then we got here, and then you asked us what we were up to, and then I answered, and then I forgot to breath, and then he shook me, and then I stopped."

I remained silent, panting slightly and grinning hugely. Roger pinched the bridge of his nose at my antics, and asked Near to help Mello into the building.

'Buzz off! I'm fine on my own!"

I grabbed his arm and wrapped it over my shoulder, supporting about half his weight. "Come on, Mello. Let's go."

And I promptly dragged him to his room.

I was about to leave him in peace, but he called out.

"Kitty! Wait!"

"Huh?"

I did a couple of 360s, making me dizzy, and stopped to see a slightly unsure Mello.

"Why did you ignore me?"

"When was that again?"

"When you were playing Mario, idiot!"

"Well… uh… I dunno… I was playing a video game, so I guess… I was preoccupied?"

Mello, surprisingly, had a hurt expression. He pouted and crossed his arms, looking just a little childish. I sighed, and walked over to sit next to my friend on the edge of his bed.

"Chill. I was playing Mario, and I was hyped up on chocolate. You know I wouldn't ignore you otherwise."

"Still…"

He looked the other way, upset. I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him stop being upset with me.

"I'll make you a giant chocolate cake~!"

He whipped his head around to face me, eyes sparkling.

"Seriously?"

"Mm! All for you! After all, you're way more important than Mario, any day!"

Grinning, he wrapped me in a tight bear hug. "Yosh!"

He let me go, and I stood in a slight daze from the warmth.

"Well, I'd better go get started…"

"Wait."

"Wha-"

He pulled my hand back down so I fell onto his lap, and he carefully pressed his lips against mine, shocking me. I drew back with wide eyes and no pulse for a few moments before my heart rebooted itself.

"What…?"

"You tasted like chocolate." He grinned cheekily, and I pouted, crossing my arms.

"That's it! No cake for you!"

"What?!"

* * *

As you can see, I have quite the humourous style of writing.

Switzerland*: I derived this from a conversation I constantly have with my Twilight-obssessed friend, who is Team Edward. Her mother, also a fan, though not a fangirl like my rabid friend, doesn't want to choose one side and leave everyone else in the dark, so she decided to become the first member of Team Switzerland, since Switzerland is a neutral country.

When i first heard this, I laughed. A lot.


End file.
